Proceed With Caution: MY. My. Mine. Whoa. Be Careful.

Apart from the word for “mother” and “father”, your my/mine was the earliest concept you learned…and two of the most prolific words to ever strike a note in your inner sound system.


Take your “my” for example.  It has been around forever, sucking in as many objects as humanly possible, every day of your life:


My mother

My father

My hand

My food

My toy

My puppy

My sister

My brother


…as you got older…


My grades

My friends

My girlfriend

My boyfriend

My school

My team


…as you got older…


My major

My free time

My money

My job

My house

My investments

My jewelry

My car

My company

My kid

My church

My city

My health

My country

My language


By the time you reached adulthood, you had already accumulated hundreds of thousands of “my’s”.

My’s full of energy!!   My’s bursting with intention!!   It’s MY LIFE!  It’s MINE!  Bua-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa!!


All of your My’s and Mines have had one thing in common:  they have labelled things dear to you.  Things you have wanted.  Things you have identified with, sought after, worked for, wanted to keep.

Those little words hang in Broadway lights on the corner of every part of the map of your mind, blinking, over and over again, all day and all night, pronouncing what belongs to you…what is YOURS.

“My” gets in front of so many other words that are vying for attention.  It takes up a lot of real estate in your brain…it loves to be in the spotlight…causing your entire nervous system to jump to its feet…to get into the mode of search, protect, maintain, keep.

“MY” is worthy of careful consideration.  Use it with respect…and caution.

MY and its best frend MINE are important.  Sure.  Necessary and seemingly friendly enough…until you witness the carnage they might create.  Let’s discuss.

You have taught yourself, when you say MY, you mean business.  Your nervous system lights up, identifying you with the thing you are my-ing about.  Whatever it is, you want to hold it, have it, claim it, own it…identify with it, label yourself by it…even get more from it than you already have…KEEP IT.

My job.  Okay.

My dogs.  Okay.

My mother.  Okay.

My father.  Okay.

My kids.  Okay.

My country.  Okay.

My money.  Okay.

My time-off.  Okay.

Tell me. What happens when you say:


My anxiety

My migraines

My pain

My problems

My disease

My worries

My isolation

My failures

My stress



God, do you want to put those things in your “my”category?

Do you really want your nervous system – that you have trained for a lifetime (since you were a wee thing) – to light up, claim and seek those things to keep, too?  Listen, don’t blame your nervous system.  You are the one who has educated it to prioritize…to be, do, think, want, seek and avoid.  With your language.

Henceforth, use your “my” with care.

And, for heaven’s sake, do not let it use you.